Loneliness, an emotion that is always insensible; it is a feeling of being isolated, the feeling of emptiness, even after being surrounded by public and/ or friends. It is not something that is in the mind of a person- it is an unwanted solitude-ness that also has its impacts physically.
Loneliness are of different kinds of loneliness and different degrees:
You might experience loneliness as a vague feeling that something is not right: minor emptiness.
You might feel loneliness as a very intense deprivation and deep pain.
You might feel lonely due to missing a specific individual
You might feel lonely and out of contact with people because you are actually physically isolated from people
You might feel emotionally isolated by having difficulty reaching out to people around you.
People, especially friends and colleagues, suggest us a list of a probably hundred things to combat our loneliness- things you can do to meet other people- Why don’t you just take up a new sport? Or, Go, join a dating site! Or maybe go dancing and/ or find a book club?
But, is it that simple? We guess not. . . Rather we KNOW not!
What people don’t realize is loneliness is not superficial- it is quite complex. It stems from our inner-most feelings – from our fear of rejection, from low self-esteem or from depression and anxiety; while, some of us are plain introvert. Our friends simple make us feel that we are also lazy in addition to being lonely- which honestly creates havoc with our psychology.
Loneliness worsens the matters- it is disseminated by self-negative actions and our emotion of being socially isolated, thereby making us turn to comfort foods or alcohol or addicts us to the TV or web, making us suspicious of other people and friends- making us believe that they are conspiring against us, rather talking behind our back. These behaviours further pull us away from health, confidence, love and also our desire to participate with the world.
Some people have fought against the loneliness- by becoming avid readers- engrossing themselves in the make-belief life of the characters they read. But would this suffice? – The answer depends- on the mental state of the person- whether the person is lonely by choice or by feeling self-isolated from the people around.
Strangely, at times, people do embrace the feeling of loneliness which usually leads to a sense of depression and helplessness, which, if left on- leads to a passive state of indifference and depression.
Can you Fight Loneliness? Ummm. . . The answer is No and Yes. . . But, you can definitely try changing your present state of loneliness- The steps to be followed are:
1. Recognize the lonely feelings and express them through art, poetry, craftsmanship, stories, letters, blogging about your interests, you can try starting your YouTube tutorials on food, clothing, make-up or even teach via YouTube.
2. Try and become more active- Go out; even if you are alone so and start seeing the world. Embrace the feeling of loneliness and try to amp up your determination to come out of loneliness.
3. Get yourself involved in a group or club of your interest. You love poetry? Go ahead and join that poetry club at the café around your neighbourhood or join online clubs- you will find numerous readers and enthusiasts online – someone you will be able to connect with. Love reading? Join the book clubs- you can also download Wattpad, an online website/ app for all book lovers- where you can read many different stories/ genres of various kinds written by amateur writers, you can also try your hand at writing.
Remember, you have to fight for yourself and bring the change you want- within yourself!
By: Archa Dave
