According to stats, about 68% of people in India prefer arranged marriages to love marriages- this is an endless debate. Youngsters are apprehensive about marrying a stranger who they barely know- and spending our whole life with them, is obviously terrifying.
It is not only you, who is confused or scared. (S)he is equally confused: about you- your likes and dislikes, your reactions, your emotions and most importantly, what is going on in your mind. You need not be scared- communication is the key. Be frank, and pour out your emotions & your thoughts to him/her. Make sure you are not antagonizing him/her. You should be sure of your feelings first, before conveying it to them.
We have all grown up hearing that marriage is all about adjustments and comprises and sacrifices, but, marriage is simply not about it- it is about growing the bond, strengthening the connection- you both hardly know each other so it is always best to start with friendship. You might be already in love with your spouse/ prospective spouse. You might understand him/her but they might not be in that phase yet. Give some time, be patient and make them realize your love for them. But, do not show your desperateness or become clingy. They need their space and so do you. And falling in love, especially in arranged marriages takes time. Marriage is a whirlwind- which takes you from a your independent carefree world to a world filled with responsibilities, commitment, family and sacrifice- a world which is filled with love, respect, hope and happiness.
A study, titled, “How Love Emerges in Arranged Marriages”, by American psychologist Dr Robert Epstein, says that those who choose arranged marriages and opt for partners chosen by the parents tend to feel in love more as time grows, which just keeps on growing as time progresses and the bond being as strong as ever, while those in love marriages, tend to feel the love disappear. This is because Epstein discovered that the key for a successful arranged marriage is the parental involvement at the beginning, which carefully screens the potential “partners” for their children.
By: Archa Dave
