Sexual abuse is so rampant, that even innocent children are not spared. Kids as young as 3 years are being sexually abused. We ask why? Why do kids have to undergo such a pain at the hands of perverts? Is it because they cannot talk or speak about it and do not understand?
So, let us tell you, that kids DO understand. They understand the differences between good touch and bad touch. Their conscious is developed, even better developed than the minds of such perverts. True, they cannot tell. True they do not know what is happening. They do not understand the meaning of sex and consent, but their ordeal don’t they understand” that? Their ordeal is much worse considering they do not know what’s happening. But, once you look out for various signs, you would understand their feelings and emotions.
In a recent incident, Evangelist priest Joao da Silva, 54, was put behind bars in northern Brazil, after being accused of paedophilia- raping a 5-year-old girl. Sickening, isn’t? The girl was accosted by the priest during English classes conducted by the pastor at a church. Her parents were suspicious when she refused to tag along with them to the church or to attend the courses.
It was then that they discovered the horrifying images that she drew- a man having his way with a kid. These images, are so horrifying that her ordeal in dealing with the torture was heart breaking.
Now, who would want a kid to go through these things? There have been many instances, where the blame of the rape falls on girls- her dressing, her way of provocative talking and the stuff. . But HOW on universe would a 5 year old girl be provocative? Isn’t that something we all need to address first? But, then how can we trust anyone with our kids? Forget that- how can you even trust your close friend when it comes to you?
Let’s discuss the tell-tale signs of child sexual abuse, that might help you in looking out for your kids. In most of the cases, the tell-tale sign is having injured genitals or some other visible mark around the privates, but what about the times, when the child is able to take care of himself/ herself and doesn’t let an adult bathe them?
Look out for signs mentioned below:
1. A child who has difficulty walking, sitting or going to the bathroom.
2. A child with bruises or bleeding in the genital or anal area or with venereal disease.
3. A child with extreme interest in sexual organs: his or her own, other childrens’ or parents’.
4. A child who behaves seductively, or promiscuously.
5. A child who is overly suspicious or watchful and who either avoids or inappropriately invites physical contact.
6. A child who puts up a fight and cries or is frightened while going to day care or near a baby sitter or any other adult for that matter
7. A child who returns home with unexplained bruises, bleeding, abrasions and has no proper explanation for the injuries or avoids the matter.
8. An active child who suddenly is lethargic or irritable with decreased appetite, and unexplained bruising.
9. A child who is displaying behavioural changes in extremes which is quite opposite to their natural behaviour. They may either shun their parent’s affections or become rather clingy.
10. A child who is exhibiting fearful behaviour, has nightmares or trouble sleeping soundly, or they may wait for something bad to happen as if it is a routine.
11. A child who wants to be secretive or want to be left alone.
12. A child who has a poor self-image
Children can rarely speak out if they have any issues that are completely out of their age-group to understand. It is very important for parents to:
Communicate with kids
Teach them the differences between the good touch and bad touch
Teaching them to not allow anyone to touch their genitals and private areas, and similarly teaching them not to touch other’s private parts as well.
To teach their kids to form a comfort zone when it comes to hugging and kissing- including family.
Encourage them to respect the comfort zone of others while playing.
Teach them the importance of privacy- knocking the doors before entering the bedroom or bathroom.
Supervise the kind of the content they see on TV or web. It is very important to supervise their games as well.
Listen to what your child has to say. Always explain them that you are there for them no matter what you are always there for him
Be patient. They have to feel that you will listen to them.
Do not discuss your problems, in front of them. They would then not be able to share their problems with you freely.
Look out for little signs in things that you kids do.
A little bit of alertness will go a long way in helping your kids have a positive outlook towards the life.
By: Archa Dave
